Music, Music, Everywhere!

Don’t be alarmed. Whenever you see music being talked about on this site, it’s going to be very basic. I’m not a big fan of long-winded paragraphs where all you learn is that the reviewer owns a thesaurus and would be a terrible person to hang out with.

I have come to you today bearing wonderful news. To start with, one of the greatest albums of all time has been officially re-released. It is an album with half the songs named after ghosts. It is The Unicorns – Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone?

Again, this is not a music critic’s blog. I could just type “I ENJOY THESE SOUNDS” and you’d get the same amount of actual information about any given band or song. But that isn’t going to stop me from expounding the virtues of The Unicorns. They’re weird and wacky, and their one and only full-length album shows it off as perfectly as possible. Here’s a little sample, just to give some context.

If you don’t like that, the only explanation is that you accidentally listened to a different song. That’s how convinced I am that they’re universally appealing. Unfortunately, after this album they broke up. Never to be heard from again! Until recently when the aforementioned re-release happened and they started booking shows amidst a rumored new album.


Only the also-rumored Faith No More reunion/new material-making could top that, and it’d be a really close call. Everything about WWCOHWWG is perfect, from the album art, to the catchy-creepy beats, to the lines “I lift weights, but I don’t sweat. I go for a swim, but I don’t get wet.” They even start with the song “I Don’t Wanna Die” and end with “Ready to Die.” That’s textbook story-telling! Wonderful beginnings and closures!

So yes, this album gets this site’s first official Best Thing Award


Now, I promised this wouldn’t go on and on, so here is the second part of this post. My main man Yoni Wolf of the band WHY? announced a new project today. Even if you don’t know who he is (you should, and I’m going to make sure you do), the concept of the album should intrigue you. It’s an EP he produced with his ex-girlfriend. He provides the beats, she provides the uncomfortable lyrics.

Yoni’s opus with WHY? is generally considered to be the album Alopecia. It’s a crazed whirlwind of hip-hop indie perfection. Ugh, that sentence was too close to a stupid elitist review. Okay, it’s an album that sounds like an English major smashing his own heart like a pinata. It’s painful, but intricate and pleasing to the ears. There, that’s better.

What excites me about this new EP is that, like, ALL of Yoni’s songs on Alopecia are about the crumbling of his relationship with this girl. And now, we get to hear her side. After years of connecting with WHY’s music and memorizing Yoni’s lyrics, it’s going to be insane hearing him produce the beats behind the long-awaited response. I fully expect it to be as awkward as it is musically-sound. Here’s the first song released:

I personally love it. And maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s not as interesting if you haven’t listened to Yoni over the span of three albums. If that’s the case, I suggest you do yourself a favor and at least give WHY? a listen. I admit I love words probably a little more than the average person, but the stories that unfold from his music are just plain entertaining. It takes a special kind of artist to frame his pains and heartaches around jerking off in an art museum bathroom. That’s honesty and truth, folks.

You know what, Yoni? You’ve earned this.

award2Please listen to this music. This post took me three hours longer than I thought it would and I need to be able to sleep tonight.

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